Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Live Earth: Live - Hour Five: 18.22PM 

Chris Rock is given the task of both filling, then introducing the Red Hot Chili Peppers as they try and sort out some sound difficulties. Unfortunately the first thing he does, after telling the audience a lame Paris Hilton joke which the crowd doesn't react to quite as enthusiastically as he might have liked is to call them all "motherfuckers", which leads to the BBC quickly cutting back to Jonathan, who is now joined in his studio by Russell Brand and Alan Carr. Not that Ross is too bothered by the swearing, seemingly unaware that it happened and even asking his producer exactly what it was he said. The producer, perhaps wisely, doesn't enlighten him. Either way, the Beeb don't cut back to the stage until RHCP are safely ensconced upon it.

Opening with the sort of thing you'll love if you're a fan of instrumental masturbation and hate if you're actually, y'know, normal, Anthony eventually bounces on after the rest of the band have already been in a holding pattern for the last few minutes, looking a bit like a boxer in a hooded top with a picture of a pair of breasts on it - what a tit, etc - and some neon fingerless gloves, possibly in a nod to The Klaxons, or perhaps just a desperate attempt to appear interesting. They start with Don't Stop, before going into Dani California, and we've never been more thankful that the BBC are putting captions up naming the songs as all Red Hot Chili Pepper songs sound the same to us, which might be because we're getting old, but is probably more down to the fact that they're a band who've had one idea in their entire career which they've hammered into the ground at every occasion, refusing to vary their palette for anyone. After Flea speaks in tongues, and he's a man who still refuses to wear a shirt, protesting against something he no longer remembers - Possibly cotton - So Much I is next, a song which we've never heard before and we've never realised how truly blessed we must have been up until now. They close with By The Way. We actually like that one! Who'da thought!

Next up are the worthy, though still pretty entertaining Bloc Party, who open with Banquet with Kele in a Save the World t-shirt. That should make a difference. They seem slightly out of place on the bill, perhaps because they do actually appear to have a political conscience and are there before they believe in the message, rather than just seeing it as an advertising window. "The power is in our hands", he declares, talking about change, rather than a recent purchase of Duracell batteries. He looks very chuffed with himself as they launch into So Here We Are, a song whose entire existence is justified by the euphoric, life-affirming "I figured it out!" declaration at the end of the song. Despite them clearly being A Good Thing, the BBC promptly decides to cut away from them to show us Linkin Park doing What I've Done in Tokyo. No, we don't understand why, either.

CURRENT CARBON FOOTPRINT: A big cat. A tiger, perhaps, or possibly a puma, running through the wilderness as it chases after a gazelle, leaving a frightened selection of jungle creatures in its wake.

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