Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Friday, January 26, 2007

Pan O'Meara/The H Factor: Day 22 

Day 22 in the Celebrity Big Brother house and it's been snowing! Naturally all the housemates were quite excited about this. Well, all except Miss Happy Knickers herself, Jo, who wouldn't be happy even if she fell into a barrel filled with sunbeams. "It's not snow, just ice", dismissed our grumpy girl, "It's a load of shit. You all talk shit", she continued, warming to her theme. "It's so rare to see you in such a good mood", laughed Shilpa, which served only to make Jo even less happy, something which had seemed hitherto impossible. "Where's the snow, where should I look to see it falling?", she grumped on in a sarcastic manner. "It's stopped falling", said Shilpa. "You warmed the day up when you woke up", suggested H. Jo took these opinions on board and promptly went off on her own to have a smoke and moan inwardly to herself.

Her sarcasm continued on throughout the day. Well, it's the only possible reason for her later saying "I think Jack could win this". Rather than laughing her out of the house, Cleo agreed with her: "He's a genuinely good guy". This would be Jack, the same man who's uttered roughly a dozen words during his time in the house, with virtually all of them being swear words directed towards Shilpa. Why, he's like Ghandi himself, isn't he?

H isn't afraid to use his time in the house to gather knowledge and ask some of the stars in the house some of the big questions which have taxed us all while he has the chance. "Jermaine", he asked, his eyes alight with the chance to settle one of the more vexing questions in pop, "Was Billie Jean written about the tennis player?". To his eternal credit, Jermaine didn't laugh in his face, but politely explained that it was about an obsessed fan. "Wow!", said Ian, enlightened, "All the lyrics make sense now!". Presumably the lack of references to nets, balls, racquets, umpires or, indeed, anything tennis related whatsoever had always confused him. This chat led Jermaine and Dirk on to a conversation about their obsessed fans, though H had little to contribute to this debate, perhaps feeling that his tales of people having complete sets of Steps dolls and knowing all the dance routines would pale in comparison to Jermaine's tales of naked girls in the driveway and Dirk's of death threats and stalkers.

The housemates' task for the afternoon was to each lick their way through a massive ice cube in a bid to free a reward token that would, if they all succeeded, reward them with a party that evening. Naturally Little Miss Sunshine Jo was eager to get involved in this particular piece of jollity: I don't think it's funny one bit. I've got the shits", she chortled like a sour faced old maid. Once the task began in earnest, Jo's moaning continued, this time about being too short for the task, although being short and the paycheck that would sort that problem out was no doubt something that encouraged her to take part in the show in the first place, but you'd have thought that having the opportunity to suck on something hard would have given her a bit of pleasure. Anyway, the housemates essentially cheated in the task, using their fingers, but got given the party anyway.

The results of yesterday's nominations were announced and, joining Shilpa, Cleo and Dirk are our very own H and Jo. H took the news in much the same way he takes every piece of news, good or bad, with a bit of excited ooh-ing, while Jo screamed out "Yes!" and appeared to be very chuffed by the news. "I feel like i've just won the lottery!" she exclaimed, so it's good to see that something can lift her out of her Eeyore-like fug. Danielle, realising that everyone was looking at the nominated housemates and not her, decided to have a bit of a cry, the self-centred minx.

H and Jack had a fight with an ice sculpture. For the most part the ice sculpture held its own, requiring scalding and an attack with a barbell before it broke down. Literally. But H took that as his queue to break down as well, going into the bedroom, taking a picture of his friends and family out to the lounge with him, where he sat on his own, looked at it, and had a little cry. Awww!