Thursday, September 14, 2006
Somethin' Kinda Wow
Some thoughts on the new Girls Aloud single.
- It's very good.
- No seriously, it's really good.
- The sort of goodness were only swearwords can really do it justice.
- So with that in mind, hopefully you'll excuse us when we say that it's really fucking good.
- Fan-fucking-tastic, in fact.
- Though there's not much Nicola in it. :(
- And too much Nadine. :( :(
- But other than that it's close to perfection.
- For a start it's called Somethin' Kinda Ooh, which is clearly the best song title since The Cardigans gave us I Need Some Fine Wine and You, You Need To Be Nicer.
- Except that this actually manages to live up to the title and not just be a rather insipid slice of faux alt.country.
- But we're not talking about The Cardigans, we're talking about Girls Aloud.
- And their new single, which, lest we forget, has already been established as being "Fan-Fucking-Tastic".
- It simultaneously sounds exactly like what you'd expect a single called Somethin' Kinda Ooh to sound, yet simultaneously sounds nothing like what you'd expect a single called Somethin' Kinda Ooh to sound like. Which is quite a feat, when you come to think about it.
- A bit like a really large duck's flipper.
- Which is quite a foot.
- It also sounds nothing like anything Girls Aloud have ever done before.
- Though it does sound a bit like Sugababes' Who.
- Although now that we've listened to the two tracks back to back, they don't actually sound that much alike.
- Sorry.
- It's just it's hard to find reference points.
- "Complete opposite to a ballad" will probably do, though.
- It features the lyrics "Jumping on my tu-tu", so it's clearly been inspired by the erotic ballet school outfits they wore during the tour, either that or a passage from Darcey Bussell's autobiography.
- Either way, we can but hope for a return of those particular costumes for the video.
- Or at least hope they break with tradition and spend more than £50 on the vid this time around.
- Listening to it is a bit like plugging your brain straight into the world's most exciting video game, then switching it off and putting the single on again as, frankly, it's nowhere near as exciting as listening to the actual single.
- Oh, and there's a really ace "Three. Two. One. Clear" bit in there as well.
- More songs should have "Three. Two. One. Clear" bits in them.
- And be done by Girls Aloud, really, when you get right down to it.
- Look, we know this review is a bit rubbish, but we can't think of words to describe the song's genius right now as, frankly, our brain refuses to co-operate as all it wants to do is listen to the song on repeat over and over again, and we can hardly blame it, so why not just listen for yourself. It's on YouTube here and it really does contain more aceness than a video shop which only sells films starring Jim Carrey as a Pet Detective.
- Fan-Fucking-Tastic.
