Wednesday, July 05, 2006
It's Wednesday - Don't ask. Seriously, don't ask - but our downbeat mood is lifted by the fact that the single greatest pop song of the year thus far is released this very week and, yes, we do realise that Girls Aloud haven't got anything out this week. We'll reveal tell you all about it tomorrow - or possibly Friday, we've still got ten things on Shakira to squeeze in - but until then, here's what we learnt from this week's Top of the Pops:-
- Fearne is already preparing for being unemployed - and, after hosting Celebrity Love Island, being unemployable - once Top of the Pops end by training up as a magician. Which is the only explanation we can think of for her wearing that awful sparkly waistcoat.
- The Kooks are the answer to the question absolutely no-one was asking. Namely, what would happen if the Stereophonics were fronted by James Blunt. And were really, really shit.
- Lily Allen needs to spend her first royalty cheque on some hair de-frizzer.
- A really big bottle of hair de-frizzer.
- Is it just us or are Belle and Sebastian - who we absolutely adore - spending a lot of time on Top of the Pops for a band who don't actually sell that many singles?
- RETRO: Moloko doing Time is Now. We could never work out if we fancied Roisin or not. We still haven't come to a conclusion.
- Happy-go-lucky types Muse performed album track Starlight. For this performance the role of Matt Bellamy was played by a zombie.
- Christina Aguilera reckons that there Ain't No Other Man. And there ain't no other girl doing what Christina does quite as fantastically as she.
- Paolo Nutini grew up above a chip shop in Paisley, and by god, you can tell the minute he opens his mouth.
- RETRO: Ace of Base doing All That She Wants. It's not as good as The Sign, or the mighty Life is a Flower, for that matter, but it's still ace. Even if the dancing wasn't.
- Razorlight's In the Morning starts off sounding quite good - well, not entirely irritating at any rate - but swiftly deteriorates as the song progresses, before turning into the sort of toxic sludge which is normally thrown over politicians by irate punters and gets politely referred to by newspapers as 'slurry'.
- Shakira is at number one, proving that the only thing the British public like more than a sexually aggressive woman is one who's pelvic area is surprisingly truthful.