Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

The 87th Actual Worst Record, Ever 

...and so wrong for us

Has there ever been a good band named after a racehorse? We doubt it. Not only do betting shops carry with them the sickly stench of broken dreams and desperate misery like the one out of Pussycat Dolls who can actually sing carries the rest of the band, but they're also home to either wizened old men with leathery skin, posh types who see nothing wrong with doing the moral equivalent of chucking £100 down the gutter, or Andy Capp. And not one of those entirely unstereotypical group of people exactly fill the pop heart with confidence. Rooster fell into the middle camp, taking their name from a racehorse called Rooster Booster and not because, as you might have suspected, they're a bunch of cocks.

They saw themselves as a 'real' band, and reckoned they were the natural step 'up' from bands like Busted or McFly. Bands who, if you follow Rooster's logic, must have been composed entirely out of fictional characters. We may be mistaken but we don't recall ever seeing Sherlock Holmes playing bass for McFly, Professor Xavier from out of the X-Men singing lead on a Busted single, or Huw Edwards drumming away happily for either band. Still, they must know what they were talking about as they clearly weren't desperately manufactured in anyway whatsoever themselves: they were all as ugly as sin for starters.

So desperate were they to be perceived as the sort of band that Mojo readers might like, they swiftly abandoned the almost - note: almost - enjoyable bounciness of their debut Come Get Some, turning instead to muddy rock-pop of the kind that even The Stereophonics might consider to be a little lame and starting talking about guitars in interviews. They even called one of their tracks Deep and Meaningless and you know for a fact that they genuinely believed that this was a really clever and interesting title, but it's third single You're so Right For Me which was the absolute nadir of their thankfully shortlived career.

You're So Right For Me is almost a love song, except because Rooster bloke is, well, a bloke, a lad, the sort of person who calls himself a geezer and doesn't realise why this makes him a twat, he can't actually bring himself to display any sort of passion or love or emotion of any sort. This is because feelings are for girls, not guys like him who play guitar and watch football and dance about on rooftops with all the grace of an injured deer. "You're so right for me", he declares, which is the sort of statement you'd make after scouring the Argos catalogue for a new TV, or you'd say to your local chip shop owner at 4AM when you arrive there drunk, desperate for a fish supper. It is not the sort of thing you'd say to a lady who you plan on having any sort of future with. It's also desperately one sided, but if Rooster bloke was to write a song listing all the qualities he has to offer a potential partner it may well end up breaking records by being the only song ever to have a running time in minus figures.

Rooster - You're So Right For Me, then. A load of old pony.