It's Monday! And we trust you'll all be rushing out at some point this week to buy the rather ace
Wigwam by the equally ace, ummm,
Wigwam. We may have more to say about this later on in the week but frankly, given our recent form, we wouldn't bank on it. We definitely learnt some stuff from this week's
Top of the Pops, however. Stuff like...
- Trevor Nelson apparently still has some sort of career. We know! We couldn't believe it either.
- The Kooks do the sort of indie music that no-one really makes nowadays. Mainly because it's godawful.
- Their new single Naive is probably about Katie Melua, instantly making it a hundred times more interesting than The Melua herself.
- Other things more interesting than The Melua include traffic cones, Forever Friends prints and dust.
- Mary J Blige's cover of U2's One manages to be even more painfully overwrought and falsely emoted than the original. Which is quite an impressive feat when you think about it.
- She also refuses to use one note when she can cram half a dozen into each syllable.
- RETRO: Wham! doing Wham Rap! (exclamation marks model's own). Singing "Hey everybody look at me / I've got street credibility" when you've apparently based your style entirely on The Fonz from Happy Days takes some balls, something which was amply demonstrated by their overly tight jeans.
- The Streets' When You Wasn't Famous sounds remarkably similar to The Man With The Stick's song about Terry from Vic Reeves' Big Night Out.
- Nature's Law presumably refers to survival of the fittest, which makes it hard to understand exactly why Embrace still appear to be a going concern. Particularly when you consider the fact that Danny has a singing voice akin to a wounded animal.
- The video for LL Cool J and Jennifer Lopez's Control Yourself was introduced as having something for everyone. For the girls, apparently, there was LL's abs to enjoy, while for the boys there was the 'bootylicious' J-Lo. They failed to state what was in it for those of us who prefer to look at attractive people.
- Someone called Nerina Pallot is releasing a record called Everybody's going to War. Is the world really crying out for another Meredith Brooks?
- RETRO: Massive Attack doing Protection. For all the critical acclaim they received, they really were quiet a dull band, weren't they? Matters here aren't exactly helped by the fact that the thrill a millennium yawnsomeness of Tracey from Everything But the Girl was on vocal duties.
- We're not sure whether Andy Abraham's, from the X Factor, as we're sure you'll need reminding, new track is a cynically chosen cover or a cynically appropriated rip off of that style of music.
- He seemed quite chuffed to receive applause at the end of his song, probably because he would rarely have received that sort of reaction while he was emptying the bins.
- Gnarls Barkley's Crazy is at number one. This is the first song to reach the top spot on downloads alone, which is apparently all exciting and historic and not just an inevitable event which has no real importance in the real world.
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