It's Monday! And
George Michael has been caught with some "Evil Drugs" (©All tabloids) in his car. This is still the single most exciting thing to happen involving George since the last time he got arrested for enjoying going to the toilet a bit too much, but given that it was only cannabis and that the worst he's got to worry about is being slapped on the wrist and getting told he's a naughty boy, this says more about his post
Wham! career rather than the seriousness of the charge. That's what we learnt from the news, but here's what we learnt from this week's
Top of the Pops:-
- This week Fearne Cotton was joined by two random people who had apparently been voted off of Just The Two of Us, which we believe is some sort of Fame Academy rip off involving 'celebrities'. We haven't seen the show, but given how immensely irritating the pair were over the course of half an hour we feel the public made the right choice.
- Pink opened her performance of Stupid Girls
reminding herself of the song lyrics pretending to read Top of the Pops magazine, which is surely the sort of product placement that is banned under the terms of the BBC's charter. Oh well, given the subject matter of the song they were probably less than pleased to have been used the role.
- Despite starting off with a couple of stormers, Maximo Park seem intent on making each release more boring and irrelevant than the last. Which, yes, does mean that I Want You to Stay somehow manages to be duller than Apply Some Pressure, an almost amazing feat given that it was the aural equivalent of a prison wall.
- Pump It by the Black Eyed Peas samples Misirlou from the Pulp Fiction soundtrack twelve years after this might have been a good and interesting idea: i.e. before it was on the Pulp Fiction soundtrack. But at least Fergie's stopped going on about her breasts as if she's only just realised she's got a pair.
- Jack Johnson is at number one in the album charts. For fuck's sake, etc, etc.
- Is the new Delays single, Valentine good or rubbish? We can't decide.
- RETRO: Neil Diamond doing Forever in Blue Jeans. This song is Jeremy Clarkson's personal anthem. We prefer Sweet Caroline. Bam! Bam! Bam!
- We were treated to a re-run of The Darkness' performance of Is It Just Me? in Torino from a couple of weeks ago. Amazingly, and in exact accordance with whatever scientific principles govern such things, it hadn't turned into something brilliant and life affirming over the last 14 days and still reeked of more shit than an incontinent dog owner's pooper scooper.
- KT Tunstall is looking for Another Place to Fall. May we be so bold as to suggest "in front of a steamroller"?
- Madonna is at number one with Sorry. Madonna was recently voted the sexiest woman in the world by the readers of NME which, given the average age of the magazine's audience, is rather worrying. Shouldn't they be fancying Charlotte Subway or Charlotte
Ash Not Ash or some other girl called Charlotte with a penchant for wearing cute denim minis?
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