Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Monday, February 06, 2006

The 97th Actual Worst Record, Ever 

And you said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" and we said "It's bloody awful".

Despite the fact we were slap bang in the middle of the Britpop revolution and any no marks with a guitar and a half way convincing cockney accent could get a record deal, there were actually a lot of good records released in 1996. Indeed, a quick skim down the list of number ones for that year reveals the Spice Girls getting what they really, really wanted with Wannabe, Gina G showing every Eurovision entrant how it should be done with Ooh Aah... Just a Little Bit and Jas Man from Babylon Zoo wearing a silver skirt to sell jeans with the still mighty Spaceman. Unfortunately where there is good, evil is often to be found lurking around the corner, and so it is when we come to the Oct 5th number one and, sitting there like a turd that just won't flush away, is Deep Blue Something and Breakfast at Tiffany's.

As catchy as chicken pox and twice as irritating, we were almost lucky and avoided having to endure this song soundtracking the Autumn months as the public, in a rare display of actually getting it right, showed only disinterest in the song on its original release, stalling as it did in the well deserved No.55 slot. Unfortunately things seemed to change and the whole concept of good and bad was turned on its head - something also in evidence when Robson and Jerome got to the top spot for the third time in their uncelebrated career later that year - and everyone suddenly decided to rush out and buy this tribute to the unpleasantness of American college radio bands Audrey Hepburn.

What Audrey herself made of having her acting talents celebrated in such an awkward, embarrassing way is unknown, what with her having had the good fortune to have died three years before the record was released. The rest of us weren't so lucky though, as their execrable track was all over the radio like a particularly unpleasant rash. Eventually, however, the public returned to its senses and gradually the song vanished from the airwaves, only to return every now and again for One Hit Wonder specials, whereupon the nightmare begins all over again...