Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The 96th Actual Worst Record, Ever 

The One With the Really Awful Song

The end of Friends was, you would have thought, a time for celebration. After all, had we not endured ten years of watching some smug New Yorkers living in apartments that they clearly wouldn't be able to afford on salaries - assuming any of them did actually have jobs - likely to be heavily penalised due to the fact that rather than doing any actual work, they much preferred to spend their days monopolising the only comfy seat in a horrible coffee shop. Ten years of watching them go on date after date every single week which, if our maths is correct, leads us to the conclusion that by the time the program was cancelled, each of them had dated every single person in New York City. Twice. Ten years of wondering why anyone even gave the slightest shit whether Ross and Rachel were on, off, on a break, on again, or shagging each other senseless while the monkey watched. Ten years of wondering why no-one ever wore the same outfit twice, and ten years waiting desperately for something, anything, to happen which could accurately be described as vaguely funny.

It seemed like the series would run forever, but eventually the writers realised that, without taking the show into Queer as Folk territory, they'd ran out of every possible permutation of cast members sleeping together and it was time for the show to finally be put out of its misery. For comedy lovers around the world, this was a time of great rejoicing, and it was hoped that the song that would get played over the final scenes would reflect this international happiness. Would it perhaps be Kool and the Gang's Celebration? Ken Dodd's Happiness? Hell, any upbeat, positive song that illustrated just how happy everyone was to see the back of six of the most irritating people you could ever have the misfortune to meet would have been fine.

Unfortunately the show's producers didn't see it that way, and decided that the best song to soundtrack another bloody will/won't Ross and Rachel meet storyline was Hoobastank's The Reason, a whiny slice of American AOR which sounds even worse once, like us, you've had the misfortune to endure seeing it performed live - At the 2004 MMVA's, not anything we actually paid for, we hasten to add. The singer strained so hard to be 'emotional' - in the same way that Friends is 'hilarious' - that we're convinced he must have suffered a nose bleed and needed a change of trousers afterwards.

Of course, given that the characters' taste in music was dubious at best - one episode involved them getting all excited about going to a - Jesus wept - Hootie and the Blowfish concert - perhaps it was an appropriate choice. Oh, and The Rembrandts can fuck right off as well.