Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Thursday, February 02, 2006

The 100th Actual Worst Record, Ever 

Thunderbugs? Er, No

There are various right wings types who are against the idea of Britain getting too closely involved with Europe. Generally their arguments, while nominally based around legal and economic matters, serve only to barely hide a borderline racist and certainly xenophobic outlook on life, but if they really wanted to make a convincing argument as to why we should keep to ourselves and not mix with the rest of the continent, then this CD would probably give their case the boost they're looking for.

Part German, part British, part French, Thunderbugs were four girls who were the bestest pals ever - even if the odds of them having actually met each other before they entered the recording studio are somewhat slim - and, despite the world not being hugely fussed about this, they wanted it to know all about this. And so Friends Forever, the 100th actual worst record of all time, was released as their debut single.

Now, there's nothing inherently wrong with the sentiment, as expressed in the chorus, "We'll be friends forever!", not if you're either 12 years old or a cuddly anthropomorphic bear with a pink heart sewn onto your stomach, that is. When you're a fully grown adult, however, whose problems can't all be resolved by lending out part of your Polly Pocket collection it's just embarrassing, and when the sentiment is backed by the sort of simpering girl-rock which set the feminist movement back ten years and, worse than that, paved the way for Dido to start selling records, friendship to anyone involved with this recording seems like an experience akin to being slowly drowned in a floral scented bubble-bath.

Although Friends Forever reached the top 5, and recently a film was made based around their story - Thunderpants, which featured a boy attempting to reach impressive heights via the means of an unpleasant noise - success, thankfully, eluded the 'Bugs, as they were never known. Follow up single It's About Time You Were Mine only reached number 43 and the album, Delicious, failed to even chart. Well, it was hardly a surprise really when you look at their target audience. 12 year olds only get so much pocket money so they don't buy many albums, and cuddly anthropomorphic bears with pink hearts sewn onto their stomachs, aside from not actually existing, tend not to carry wallets or purses - their big cuddly paws aren't too good at coping with small, fiddly buttons - so their career was doomed from the outset. Oh, well. Wonder if they still keep in touch?