It's Monday! And, despite what we promised, our list of the
100 Actual Worst Songs of All Time is still in a state which can only be described as 'unfinished'. We will be kicking it off at some point this week though. Perhaps. Hopefully. Definitely before the end of February, though. Anyway, we have more pressing matters to deal with today: here's what we learnt from this week's
Top of the Pops:-
- Fearne Cotton's scary uncle this week was
Alan PartridgeJames May. He's apparently from Top Gear. Judging by his hair he certainly hadn't come from a hairdressers.
- Shakira's Don't Bother sounds more the past, rather than the modern rip roaring pop masterpiece we'd have like to have seen her do. Still, the audience didn't seem to mind, mainly thanks to the fact that Shakira is a very sexual lady.
- Preston was far more entertaining when he was sitting around the Big Brother house and not arseing about on stage performing the sub-Madness ska shite of Boys Will Be Boys. Good intro, mind.
- RETRO: All Saints doing Never Ever. They're coming back, apparently, though whether Nicole will be able to cope with the dizzying heights of pop fame once again given her complete inability to cope with actual dizzying heights on I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here remains to be seen.
- Fall Out Boy's Sugar, We're Goin' Down may well be a bit rubbish, but should be a shoe-in to soundtrack a love scene should they ever make a second series of Sugar Rush.
- Richard Ashcroft mardily stomped his way through album track Why Not Nothing?, a question heard in editorial meetings up and down the country as music journalists assemble and ponder what score to give his new album.
- RETRO: The Police doing Roxanne. Given Sting's fondness for Tantric sex we dread to think what sort of bill he'd be facing if he ever went to a prostitute.
- Listening to Kubb's Grow is as interminable an experience as sitting in your garden watching a weed do the self same thing.
- A-Ha's Analogue is as two dimensional as their Take On Me video.
- Despite being introduced with a comment involving food, The Magic Numbers actually managed to be professional, didn't storm off and performed their new single, I See You, You See Me. Unfortunately.
- Notorious BIG is at number one with Nasty Girl. Dead men may tell no tales, but they don't half release a lot of records.
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