Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Frost Report: Day 4 

What a dog!

A not exactly unexpected exclamation when confronted with Jenny Frost, but this time there's more justification than normal as Jenny spent some time this afternoon enlightening her fellow I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here contestants about her pet pooch, George Michael. This dog, presumably named for his fondness of sniffing around where other dogs go to the toilet, is a chocolate tan miniature dachshund and is clearly some sort of baby substitute for Miss Frost. Either that or she never really grew out of Barbie dolls and the poor beast is like a living version of it. We learnt that he owns a Parker jacket, but wasn't keen on his burberry jumper - clearly a dog with taste - and also possesses a diamante collar spelling out the word "Spoiled". We'd mock at this point, but given that our cat will be spending this Christmas wearing a pink collar with the word "PURR" spelt out in rhinestones, we feel that the windows of our glass house are a bit too fragile to be throwing any stones. "I was thinking of getting him some boots", she pondered. "Stilettos?", suggested Carol Thatcher, "No!", cried Jenny, aghast, "He's a boy dog! He doesn't want to wear heels!".

As if all that wasn't bad enough, she also waxed rhapsodically on the subject of 'Doggles', goggles designed to protect your precious pooch from dirt and dust while it's sticking it's head out of the window. Fortunately for George, Jen has decided not to get them for him, as "He'd look stupid". Not because of the simple fact he'd be wearing bloody glasses when he's a dog, but because "he's too short! He'd look stupid in front of all his doggy friends wearing doggles when he doesn't need them". Quite.

Earlier things took a somewhat corpophiliac turn, with the campers discussing each their toilet habits. "Jenny's definitely done a number 2", stated Some Footballer's Wife, confidently. Jenny agreed, but with a caveat: "It's making me all bunged up, this rice and beans. I've only been once since I've been here and I'm normally once a day". Funny, we heard earlier in the week that she was a six times a night girl.

In a rare moment of self-awareness, Jenny informed the Bush Telegraph that "I know I look rough, might as well embrace the roughness", something which we thought she'd been doing since she first burst on to the scene. If she was actually trying to look good then the mind boggles. "It's bad enough with these bloody curls in", she continued, "I look like an eighties footballer, I look like Kevin Keegan". Which is fair enough, though we reckon that he'll still rank above her in the next list of FHM's 100 Sexiest women.

But despite her slight depression over her appearance, things might be looking up for Jenny, as Sid Owen has promised to take her to a strip bar once they both get out of the jungle, presumably with the intention of getting her a job there.

Finally, in a bid to make more of an impression on the watching audience, she decided to make with the shocking revelations in a bid to get some press coverage. Once the rain began lashing down, she went into the Bush Telegraph and revealed, "This is ridiculous! I only came here to get a tan. It's like being at Glastonbury last year, only without the alcohol on tap.". Atomic Kitten have been to Glastonbury?! Blimey!

To make Jenny experience the most uncomfortable experience of her life since attempting to hit the high notes on the few occasions Atomic Kitten sang live, phone 09011 32 32 04 or text JENNY to 63334.