Monday, July 25, 2005
It's Monday! And if you find yourself in a record shop this week then you could do worse and get yourself a copy of the Dancing DJ's vs Roxette single, Fading Like a Flower, which is a dance remix of the classic early nineties hit and, mainly by virtue of it being a dance remix of the classic early nineties hit, it's really rather good indeed. Anyway, enough of that, here's what we learnt from this week's Top of the Pops:-
- Fearne Cotton is joined this week by Jeremy Clarkson. Given that his only connection to the world of pop is that the Top Gear name has been licensed out to various compilations of the "Driving Rocks" variety, we can only assume that he's on the payroll in a bid to plug Top Gear, starting twenty minutes after the end of TotP.
- Ah, suddenly his inclusion becomes clear. He's the only person in the world who could genuinely get excited about a new Texas single.
- If it wasn't for the fact that Sharleen Spiterri has a voice which makes you want to eat glass, the new Texas single, Getaway might be half decent. Alas, she does, so it's not.
- Jeremy, after Fearne names some of the young, up to date acts on tonight's show, says "and for music lovers you've got The Who and Tony Christie". He continued in a similarly disdainful fashion throughout the show. The fuckwit.
- If he wasn't a pop star, the lead singer of Maximo Park would be able to carve out a successful career going round schools, demonstrating to young children the sort of person they should be avoiding.
- Tony Christie is hoping to keep riding the Amarillo wave by following it up with a re-release of Avenues and Alleyways. Unless he gets Trev and Simon to mime their way through the video, we can't see this going anywhere.
- Despite the fact that they could have shown us Bucks Fizz doing the incredibly ace Land of Make Believe, TotP decided to show us them doing Making Your Mind Up for the umpteenth time instead, presumably reasoning that there might be one person in the country who hasn't been bored to tears by the bloody skirt ripping off moment.
- Daddy Yankee's Gasolina, the sound of two men having an argument at the holiday resort of your choice, is at number 5.
- Daniel Powter's Bad Day, like Deep Blue Something's Breakfast at Tiffany's, Billie Myers' Kiss the Rain and Barenaked Ladies One Week before it, is one of those godawful songs which no-one you know will admit to liking, let alone buying, yet will still hang around the top end of the charts for months like some sort of infernal punishment from an angry God.
- Second retro slot went to The Who doing Won't Get Fooled Again. This performance apparently ended with Keith Moon and Pete Townsend trashing their equipment, though this wasn't shown. For an encore, Pete later went on to trash his reputation by getting caught downloading child pornography. The cunt.
- McFly's new single is called I'll Be OK. Being OK wasn't on the boy's minds when they wrote this as it doesn't even reach those giddy heights being, as it is, entirely shit.
- Tom has now taken to wearing glasses. Despite this, he's still nowhere near as punchable as Danny.
- James Blunt is still number one. Rather than show him perform live, we were instead 'treated' to his video, the meaning of which is very subtle and may not have been grasped by all who've seen it. If you're confused, then what he's trying to say is "I have seen the video for Coldplay's Yellow and do not have an original idea of my own, something which is very much evidenced in my music". Hope that's cleared things up.