It's Saturday! And our promised piece on the Band Aid is on it's way! But probably not til Monday now, as we're pissed off at having failed 3 times now to download a large zip file on our crappy dial-up connection. If anyone would like to pay for us to have broadband installed, we'd love you forever. Well, for a week or so, anyway. But while we steel ourselves for our fourth and final attempt to get the download to work, we've taken time out to see if we can learn any moral lessons from this week's Top of the Pops in the vain hope that it might improve our motivation for that thankless task. Here's what we learnt:-
- Gwen Stefani still ain't no hollaback girl. She also still ain't got over the demise of the Bay City Rollers, judging by the tartan half cape she was sporting.
- John Legend is apparently the future of soul, though on the basis of what we saw, he also exists in the future of insomnia cures.
- When you're the "Biggest band in the World" (© Bono), it's fair to say you don't really need to try that hard to sell records, not because songwriting is so effortless to you, but because you could release an album that consisted entirely of a 45 minute recording of you singing showtunes in the shower and it would still sell stupid amounts of records. It would be nice, however, if U2 at least pretended to actually care about the music they were putting out, rather than releasing the unforgettably dire City of Blinding Lights and expecting people to give a shit.
- Fresh from her starring role in MTV's "Make Me Beyonce!", Amerie has released her cover version of Crazy in Love... sorry, original new track One Thing. MTV skimped on the miming lessons, but they put the "Wearing of a Short Dress" course high on the curriculum.
- Good Charlotte's The Chronicles of Life and Death offers the insight that life, when you get right down to it, is a bit shit and pointless. Well, it would be if you're a member of Good Charlotte.
- Coldplay, your Dad's favourite act, are back! And they've been beaten to the top spot by your little brother's favourite act, Crazy Frog.
- Shit though it may be, the Frog's "brum, brum, brum, weeeeeeee!" offers far more lyrical insight than anything Chris Martin has been able to muster.
- Rather than show the video to the Crazy Frog, which, due to it appearing roughly every five seconds on your favourite digital TV channel, is already indelibly etched upon the average persons eyeballs, the BBC instead got 5 dancers to strut their stuff to the song. We can't see this job turning up on any of their CV's.
