Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Kelly O: My God, We Can't Believe It 

In the world of pop, there are some rules which have been set in stone by the Gods. These include such unquestionable notions as Nicola Roberts will never look less than lovely, The world isn't waiting for a 911 reunion, If only Lemonescent had been a bit more desperate, they might have achieved something, and, most notably of all, Kelly Osbourne will never do anything to write home about. However, in news which is likely to shake the world of pop based religions to its core, Kelly Osbourne has actually come up with a single that is, whisper it, pretty damned good indeed.

The song in question goes by the name of One Word and should, by our reckoning, be available in your local HMV right now, though we haven't actually gone down to the shops to check. It's an electro-pop masterpiece, the sort of track that Fischerspooner always threatened to make, yet never quite achieved due to being somewhat distracted by being given a million pounds to spunk up the wall. Of course, to be fair, it's exactly the sort of track that Visage did make back in 1980, it being ever so slightly similar to the rather fab Fade to Grey. Still, talent borrows, genius steals, although quite what that particular homily has to do with Kelly, we'll never know.

This is quite easily the best thing that Kelly's done, but when your back catalogue consists of Papa Don't Preach, Shut Up and Changes, and you're best known for being a bit sweary and having 'interesting' hair, that could be seen as damning with faint praise, but it's not. This is clearly one of the records of the year and, while we're sure that in a few weeks time Kelly, or her record company who do most of her thinking for her, will see the new Coldplay video on MTV and decide that in actual fact that's the sort of music she has wants to do (not that we wish to imply that she leaps from genre to genre like a fame crazed parasite, oh no), until that happens we will declare our love for Electro-Kelly and will happily lamp anyone that says anything against her.

Her Mum's still an annoying cow, though.