Monday, May 23, 2005
Hit Me, Shakey's Won More Time
All good things must come to an end, and so too, it seems, does Hit Me Baby One More Time, although these two statements are clearly entirely unrelated. Yes, after seven weeks of barrel scraping, desperation, and the painful sight of watching various pop 'stars' sacrifice their last remaining vestiges of dignity and self respect for one last bite at the cherry pie of fame, we finally know who's the best at being not very famous any more.
Despite the fact that the covers were generally the best part of the show, the powers that be decided to forgo that element for the grand final, each artist instead simply performing one of their own tracks and, presumably because for most of the people involved they didn't have anything else to perform, everyone did the same track they did in the heats. They were pretty much all as good - or as bad - as they were originally, which meant that not only was the whole thing smothered in a cloud of deja vu, it's also a complete bugger for us to write about without repeating what we've already said.
So, what happened? Well, it was all a bit of a non-event really. Tiffany, who's doing the US version of this show - obviously having realised that it's possible to carve out a reasonable career as a hasbeen - has done a Nicola and toned down her gingerness, but seemed to enjoy herself a bit more. 911 were still struggling with their crutch - and we don't mean Spike - while Hue and Cry happily declared in the introductory VT that they were "aflame with pop ambition", proving that there's a first time for everything,. Once again while they performed Labour of Love, they themselves were having to labour under the fact that they were Hue and Cry.
Carol Decker, who wore a nice dress, seemed to be having a few problems hitting all her notes properly and occasionally sounded like a singing sheep, though her voice didn't actually crack like china in her hand. Shakin' Stevens' VT included one of his bandmates declaring that Shakey "is a true rock and roller, and the elements of rock and roll are danger, edge and attitude", despite the fact that Shakey is as dangerous as a baby and possesses all the edge of a sphere. Whether he possesses Attitude or not, however, is something which will remain between him and his newsagent.
Finally we had Chesney Hawkes, who did some busking in Covent Garden for his VT segment, and while 911 may have brought the bodyrocking, Shalamar closed the show with some body popping, and were as excellent as they were last time around, something which was proved by them winning the, admittedly slightly pointless, studio audience vote.
As we predicted last week, it was Shakin' Stevens who won the contest, his fans having wasted their entire week's pension on getting him this victory. Shakey seemed distinctly unimpressed by winning the show which, to be fair, is exactly the same sort of attitude that anyone with even a vague love of music would share. On June 13th, you'll be able to rush out to your local record shop and buy a copy of his double A side featuring This Ole House and his cover of Pink's Trouble. Don't. You'll only hate yourself when you get home.
Despite the fact that the covers were generally the best part of the show, the powers that be decided to forgo that element for the grand final, each artist instead simply performing one of their own tracks and, presumably because for most of the people involved they didn't have anything else to perform, everyone did the same track they did in the heats. They were pretty much all as good - or as bad - as they were originally, which meant that not only was the whole thing smothered in a cloud of deja vu, it's also a complete bugger for us to write about without repeating what we've already said.
So, what happened? Well, it was all a bit of a non-event really. Tiffany, who's doing the US version of this show - obviously having realised that it's possible to carve out a reasonable career as a hasbeen - has done a Nicola and toned down her gingerness, but seemed to enjoy herself a bit more. 911 were still struggling with their crutch - and we don't mean Spike - while Hue and Cry happily declared in the introductory VT that they were "aflame with pop ambition", proving that there's a first time for everything,. Once again while they performed Labour of Love, they themselves were having to labour under the fact that they were Hue and Cry.
Carol Decker, who wore a nice dress, seemed to be having a few problems hitting all her notes properly and occasionally sounded like a singing sheep, though her voice didn't actually crack like china in her hand. Shakin' Stevens' VT included one of his bandmates declaring that Shakey "is a true rock and roller, and the elements of rock and roll are danger, edge and attitude", despite the fact that Shakey is as dangerous as a baby and possesses all the edge of a sphere. Whether he possesses Attitude or not, however, is something which will remain between him and his newsagent.
Finally we had Chesney Hawkes, who did some busking in Covent Garden for his VT segment, and while 911 may have brought the bodyrocking, Shalamar closed the show with some body popping, and were as excellent as they were last time around, something which was proved by them winning the, admittedly slightly pointless, studio audience vote.
As we predicted last week, it was Shakin' Stevens who won the contest, his fans having wasted their entire week's pension on getting him this victory. Shakey seemed distinctly unimpressed by winning the show which, to be fair, is exactly the same sort of attitude that anyone with even a vague love of music would share. On June 13th, you'll be able to rush out to your local record shop and buy a copy of his double A side featuring This Ole House and his cover of Pink's Trouble. Don't. You'll only hate yourself when you get home.
