Sunday, March 27, 2005
Eggs Factor
It's Easter! And, as always happens at this time of year, the music industry is abuzz with excitement about who's going to get the coveted Easter number one slot. Except, of course, it's not. For some reason, despite the fact we get all over-excited and unnecessary when he's born, we don't really give much of a shit when they take Santa Claus, crucify him on a cross before he magically comes back to life thanks to the reviving power of hot-cross buns and sherry. Still, it's not to say that there have been no attempts to crack the potentially lucrative Easter market, here's a few of the most memorable:-
- Normally when an adult male makes a pathetic and desperate attempt to ingratiate himself with young teenage boys, he finds himself on the sex offenders register quicker than it takes to drop an underperforming boy band, but because Fred Durst from terminally rubbish nu-metallers Limp Bizkit is profiting by acting the retard, this is somehow considered to be entirely acceptable. Anyway, back in 2001, presumably as part of an effort to appeal to an even younger audience, Limp Bizkit released Rollin', a paean to the joys of climbing a hill on Easter Sunday and rolling a hard-boiled egg down the slope. In it he discusses his rolling technique, "Breathe in, now Breathe out / Hands up, now hands down" and then, presumably, release. It's nice to see that he takes it so seriously, but we get the feeling he'd throw a major tantrum if he doesn't win, or if someone else finds the stash of Kinder eggs in the Easter Egg Hunt first.
- Of course, Easter isn't just about nailing Father Christmas to a cross, it's also about the son of God turning out to be a giant, anthropomorphic rabbit, which came as a bit of a shock to the Disciples, let me tell you. Anyway, angered that the true meaning of Easter was being lost under an avalanche of chocolate eggs, poets and philosophers Chas and Dave decided to try and rectify this by releasing Rabbit, discussing the beauty of our Lord in the way that only a couple of cockney chancers can. Who can forget the religious fervour summed up in the closing refrain of "yup yup rabbit yup yup yup rabbit rabbit bunny jabber" which, if nothing else, is at least one of the few examples of beastiality being covered in song.
- Celebrating all things ovid are the Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players with their masterwork, Eggs, which is appropriate enough as in terms of how they fit into the music scene, they're somewhat like trying to fit an egg-shaped block into a round hole. Happily breaching the laws regarding the use of child labour, they're a husband and wife team who use their 10 year old daughter as a drummer and write songs based around slideshow collections they pick up at car boot sales and charity shops, so naturally are pretty ace indeed. Eggs is a song about Vietnam, Watergate, the Brady Bunch and military abuses. Oh, and eggs, naturally.
- Chas and Dave aren't the only ones to celebrate the iconic image of Christ as a Bunny Rabbit, one group made a career out of it, recording under the name of Jive Bunny. To commemorate the long-eared saviour, they would crucify old records, hammering nails through the hearts of those that composed them, before bringing them back to life in the form of some god-awful megamixes.
