Talent in a Previous Life

Because It's Never Just About the Music

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Annoys Next Door 

Popjustice.com believe that the best way to deal with the acne-ridden hell that is Noise Next Door is to deny them the oxygen of publicity. Here at TiaPL on the other hand we, much like Fleetwood Mac and people with a poor sense of direction, are going to go our own way as we believe that the best way to fight fire is with fire, though it was that attitude that led to us losing our job with the fire brigade in the now notorious "Petrol in the Water Tanks" incident.

Anyway, their debut single, the rather optimistically titled Lock Up Your Daughters, is out today and it is quite easily one of the most cynically targeted and pointless pieces of music marketing that we've seen in a long time. Not that Noise Next Door are just the same as any other instrument playing pop band out there, oh no, they have a gimmick! Two in fact, if you count "Being a less good Busted" as a gimmick, that is.

Their official gimmick is that they're triplets. Well whoop-de-doo. The person that thought of this idea presumably reasoned that this would mean they'd be one better than Bros, but it does kinda ignore the fact that most fans of boy bands like to pick their favourite out of the members, which is a bit hard when a) they all look the same. Oh, and b) are all as ugly as sin, which seems to be another flaw in the masterplan.

Despite the fact that it's never just about the music, we suppose we should at least give a cursory mention to the tune:- fucking shit. Actually that's a cursing mention of the tune, but you get the idea. Even McFly would turn their noses up at this, and quite possibly did, given that one of them was involved in writing the B-side to this track, the theme tune to Ministry of Mayhem which is ITV's latest attempt to return Saturday morning telly to the glory days of Motormouth.

Seriously kids. Just say no. This just goes to show that, despite what we may have led you to believe, having red hair isn't always a good thing.