Friday, September 10, 2004
Thoughts of the Pops
We came down from the cloud of euphoria caused by that picture long enough to focus our attention on this week's Top of the Pops. Here's what we learnt:-
- JoJo got off her arse and actually decided to perform in the studio this week, rather than lazing around beside a Miami poolside as she did last time. To celebrate her arrival in the UK she decided to go for a look that was very Billie Piper-esque. The whole concept of JoJo is, however, still entirely wrong.
- The audience for Jessica Simpson's radical drillcore reinterpretation of Berlin's Take My Breath Away seemed to be screaming at entirely random times and far louder than the performance seemed to warrant. We're almost entirely convinced that this was because they were being tortured by demons from the very bowels of hell itself, a theory which is given credence not only by the fact that she was performing in front of a fiery backdrop but also because they were all listening to Jessica Simpson singing.
- Darren Hayes is at number 12 with Pop!ular, so TotP let him have a go on the stage for a few minutes. Of course, had anyone else let him do this, played the song or, indeed, actually acknowledged his existence, this rather ace slice of electroness might actually have got the chart position it deserved.
- Remember back in the day when Duran Duran came back with Ordinary World and everyone went "Wow!" and realised that Duran Duran were actually quite good and shouldn't just be used as a shorthand for poor quality "Weren't the 80's rubbish?" style jokes? Of course you do. Well, their comeback on the show tonight was a bit like that, only rather than coming back with a cracking song, they decided to perform the poor and pointlessly bracketed (Reach Up For The) Sunrise and, rather than critical re-evaluation, the nation now echoes to the unpleasant sound of some old men pissing all over their legacy.
- Shola Ama is back! What a shame that no-one really cares. Towards the end of the performance of The Pirates' answer record, You Should Really Know, the crowd was told "When I say Shola! You say Ama!", a somewhat risky procedure when there's the very real possibility the audience will respond with "Who?".
- Clearly a law has been passed which actively prohibits Rachel Stevens from releasing two good songs in a row.
- Nelly is at number one. Oh, for fucks sake.
