Wednesday, July 28, 2004
Song for Few Twerps
So, imagine you're a long in the tooth boy band that's way past it's sell by date. Your original audience has grown up and the new audience is more interested in the younger, more exciting alternatives that are available, rather than some blokes in white suits. How on earth are you going to respark public interest in the band so that your next album sells enough to keep you in dry-cleaning for the rest of your life? Well, if we were involved, we'd suggest releasing a fantastic pop song which sparkles it's way out of the radio and cattle-prods your brain right in the middle of it's pleasure centre. Westlife, however, have decided that the best way to pull themselves out of the creative malaise which they've been in since.. well, pretty much since they've started, is to offer a girl the chance to sing with them on their new album.
It's basically going to be a Pop Idol-esque competition to be televised on ITV1, and we do hope that someone similar to McManus wins. To enter you need to dial a £1 a minute number and sing down the phone to the best of your abilities which is, of course, how all the great singers were auditioned. We suppose we should give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they feel that a great singer will still sound fantastic down a crackly connection and that this method makes it more accessible to the Westlife fans around the country, rather than having auditions in a few main cities. The fact that this means that they'll have lots of teenage girls phoning up a premium rate number which allows them to rake in a small fortune while they sit on their arses and do nothing is irrelevant, and besides, that's how they've always made their money, so it seems a little churlish to bring it up now.
Of course, the saddest thing about this state of affairs is knowing that Lulu is currently going without heating as she funnels all her money into trying to recreate her Take That related glory days. The poor, misguided old lady.
It's basically going to be a Pop Idol-esque competition to be televised on ITV1, and we do hope that someone similar to McManus wins. To enter you need to dial a £1 a minute number and sing down the phone to the best of your abilities which is, of course, how all the great singers were auditioned. We suppose we should give them the benefit of the doubt and assume that they feel that a great singer will still sound fantastic down a crackly connection and that this method makes it more accessible to the Westlife fans around the country, rather than having auditions in a few main cities. The fact that this means that they'll have lots of teenage girls phoning up a premium rate number which allows them to rake in a small fortune while they sit on their arses and do nothing is irrelevant, and besides, that's how they've always made their money, so it seems a little churlish to bring it up now.
Of course, the saddest thing about this state of affairs is knowing that Lulu is currently going without heating as she funnels all her money into trying to recreate her Take That related glory days. The poor, misguided old lady.
