Friday, March 26, 2004
Thoughts of the Pops
For reasons which will become clear this weekend, this'll be the last Top of the Pops review that we'll be doing for a while. So, was our final viewing a fantastic celebration of all that's good about pop in this country, or was it the usual attempt to see just how much of the barrel can be scraped before there's actually no bottom left? Well... lets have a look and see what we learnt from tonight's show:-
- They're running a competition where you get to choose between meeting Beyonce or Blue for your prize. This is a little bit like having to choose between something really excitingly good and, well, Blue.
- The new N*E*R*D single is beginning to grow on us, but we're still unsure of it's lyrical content. Not only does it contain the line "Her ass is a spaceship which I want to ride" - which is hardly up there with "My love is like a red, red rose" - but also, the whole gist of the song with it's "She wants me, I can see it in her eyes" vibe appears to be a side step away from a rapist saying "But she was wearing a short skirt, she was asking for it" and believing it to be a valid defence.
- Alicia Keys needs to learn that having a beautiful, soulful, passionate and emotional voice is all well and good, but it does help to include a memorable tune somewhere along the line.
- Big Brovaz performed with a missing member. He was sacked for his beliefs. He basically believed that smuggling canabis into America, what with it's really lax airport security right now, was a really good idea. This made no noticeable difference to their sound whatsoever, and if we hadn't read about it in the paper we'd never have noticed he was gone.
- Will Young followed one of the golden rules of TotP appearances by having a string section made up entirely of attractive young females.
- Basement Jaxx's performance of Plug It In featured cat noises, an ex-member of N*Sync, spinning mannequins and a redhead in a PVC catsuit. As a result of this it couldn't fail to be anything less than seriously fucking good.
- Usher is number one. He spent part of his performance trying to adjust his face mic to a more comfortable position. Quite why he was bothering given that he was miming will remain one of life's great mysteries.
