Sunday, November 09, 2003
Her Life Got Gold
Anyway, over the next however many months we'll be presenting to you a list of everything that is ace in the world, and we'll be doing this until we either a) reach 117 things, b) Get threatened with legal action by CFB Goes Pop, or, and much more likely, c) Get bored with it and so something else. Until then though, we promise that this list will be diligently researched and we won't be awarding aceness on a whim, or merely because we fancy the person involved. Definitely. So, without further ado, lets introduce the acest thing in the world... Ever!
And it should come as no surprise to anyone with at least rudimentary intelligence that the acest thing in the world is Nicola Roberts from Girls Aloud. Reasons why she is ace are many, first of all, look at the picture, she is clearly the most beautiful girl in the world. Her hair, her eyes, her skin, her sulky expression, they all add up to a vision of loveliness which it's hard to believe is actually real. But it's not only her beauty that makes her ace, while we can sometimes make puddles look deep, we're not quite that shallow. It's her attitude, her feud with one of Busted, the wearing of a skirt that had "I'm a rude ginger bitch... Botherd" written on the back of it as a result of this. Her shouty fabness in interviews :- "Imagine if a big MONSTER came and pulled you and CHOPPED YOUR HEAD OFF! Then PULLED YOUR BONES OUT! I hate fish. They're disgusting". The fact she hates fish, which are disgusting. Her shyness. The way she sings "No way Ou-ou-out" in White Lies. The fact that despite the way she always get sidelines in their music videos, she always manages to be the highlight. The way she looks bored and grumpy when doing rubbish TV interviews, instead of being all fake and smiley like the girls from Atomic Kitten would... the list goes on and on, so please, join us in celebrating her magnificence so that eventually the powers that be will realise her aceness as well stop her being pushed out to the side in every photo shoot and let her get her fair share of screen time in their videos and TV appearances. If you won't do it for us, then do it for pop, as Girls Aloud need Nicola just as much as pop music needs Girls Aloud. If she didn't exist, we'd have to invent her.
